OPEC cries poverty

OPEC member states have watched the market price for oil drop like panties from a 2-dollar whore, and they're not happy.

"The era of cheap oil is finished," Iran's Oil Minister Gholamhossein Nozari boasted on Tuesday.

When asked what price Iran would want for its oil, Nozari declared, "The more the better."

"A few member nations have voiced their intentions of pushing for a cut in production, including Qatar, Iran, as well as OPEC's president Chekib Khelil, who said that output could be slashed by as much as 2 million barrels a day," analysts for Raymond James & Associates told MarketWatch.com.

Drill here, drill now. Fuck these greedy America-hatin', nuke-buildin' bastards.