Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Update on an old post

Last December, before Barack Obama won the Iowa caucus that would ultimately lead to his nomination coronation as the Democratic candidate, I posted this top ten list of good things about a Democrat winning the White House today. I was convinced at the time that Fred Thompson was the one GOP candidate who could beat any Democrat in the general election, but there was no way he'd get the nomination. I was half right.

Oh, sure...anyone with a bit of political insight should have known that the national media would abandon all pretense at objectivity and actively work for the Obama campaign. Or that 51% of Americans would fall into a groupie-like swoon over a far left Marxist candidate with no experience to speak of and with ties to unrepentant domestic and international terrorists and criminals and who raked in fraudulent campaign contributions from anonymous donors all over the world. I don't know how the hell I didn't see that coming.

So, let's take a look at that list:
  1. Abrupt withdrawal from Iraq results in chaos in the Persian Gulf region, which leads to $300/barrel oil. Global warming grinds to a halt, and Al Gore finally shuts the hell up.
  2. Unemployment skyrockets to 15%, resulting in increased affordable entertainment by street corner musicians.
  3. With mortgage interest rates at 18%, home and commercial construction industry collapses, halting urban sprawl.
  4. Stock markets collapse, giving day traders more time to spend with their families.
  5. Universal health care turns medical doctors into every day, 9-5 blue-collar workers. Take that, you uppity thoracic surgeon bitch!
  6. Universal pre-K provides employment for tens of thousands of crack-dependent victims of society.
  7. Repeal of second amendment disarms the populace, ensuring only criminals serious about their craft are armed.
  8. Rise of nuclear-armed global Islamic caliphate allows us to stop worrying about Russia. And China.
  9. Illegal immigration problem is reversed by US citizens sneaking into Mexico for work.
  10. Righty bloggers finally get to be the ones "speaking truth to power".
Yeah. I'm thinking most of these will still hold true. We're already well on our way to number 4 and number 6 was more a Hillary Clinton thing, but there's no reason to think Obama won't embrace something similar. Number 10? Most definitely.

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