This just in: Aliens testing secret weapons on Italians

Game over, man. Game over!

Villagers [in Canneto di Caronia on Sicily --ed.] had been baffled for years over the way their toasters and TVs regularly burst into flames. But now the mystery has been solved.

[ ... ]

Locals were quick to blame supernatural forces, with the Vatican's chief exorcist attributing the fires to demons.

But in an interim report leaked to the Italian media yesterday, the civil protection department says the most likely cause is 'aliens testing secret weapons'.

I want to believe.