Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Yuppies brace for three hours of living hell

All Starbucks shops across the US will close for three hours today at 5:30PM for barista training.
Starbucks is closing the doors at its 7,100 stores across America for a brief barista re-education.

CEO Howard Schultz announced the 3-hour closure starting at 5:30 p.m. local time Tuesday to energize 135,000 employees.

He wants baristas to share their passion for making espresso, or as he says, "to pull the perfect shot, steam milk to order and customize their favorite beverage."
That's the official line. But what are they really up to? Could this be a case where an article that appeared in The Onion seven years ago was oddly prescient?

4 comments:

Tyler said...

I don't drink Starbucks. Their drinks suck, and I can get much better coffee and free wifi down at my local Valero gas station.

darkpixel said...

I can not stand Starbuck's.

I absolutely refuse to learn their silly, madeup Esperanto-lite bullshit language.... I will not submit to a culture that thinks it's OK to order a Grande Supremeo anythin - with skim milk.

I will not drink your crapachino.
Not in a park, not on a lark.
Not in a tree, not even if it is free!.

Eric said...

I avoid Fourbucks whenever I can. But when I do want a froo-froo coffee and there's nothing else like a Border's book store or something like that around, I like to tweak them by ordering a medium or large.

The "barista" always looks a bit crestfallen when I don't order a "grande" or "venti".

Eric said...

Oh, and their regular coffee is the most vile crap around. It always tastes burnt.