Revealed: Where all those leftists come from

I've often wondered why there seems to be so much naïveté on the far left, and I've come up with a theory: It's a failure of Darwinian Natural Selection.

Many of the bizarre positions taken by the hard-core leftist, I believe, can be traced to a desire for acceptance. The stronger the desire, the farther the drift to the left. It's for this reason that so many people in the arts are extreme leftists. People with a strong urge to be loved gravitate to activities which provide constant affirmation of others' love for them. They're largely the ones who take up music or drama or other artistic endeavors as a means of receiving adulation from their fans. This need to be loved, or at least liked, is at the root of much liberal thought, and explains why so many in the movie, TV and music businesses are leftists.

So when Islamist freakazoids attack us and kill 3,000 people, it simply can't be because the attackers were hate-filled, bloodthirsty fanatics, but because we did something to make them mad at us. We're the ones who need to change...not them. The same thought process is what makes dolts like John Kerry say any military intervention on America's part must pass some silly-ass "global test" before we embark on it and what makes Democrats lament the Iraq war's effect on our relations with other countries.

So, why is this trait so prevalent these days? Here's where the failure of Natural Selection comes in. In harsher times past, suckers like these would be filtered out of the gene pool. A leftist caveman who somehow managed to bag an animal would, in an effort to be liked, invite a couple of other cavemen to dinner. Those other cavemen, who had not yet proven themselves friendly, would kill him and take his food, thus keeping the leftist caveman from procreating. In other words, he would be naturally deselected.

As humanity evolved and became more structured and secure, marshmallows like our leftist caveman became shielded from such adversity. Their numbers naturally grew, and places like Boston, New York, California and post-World War II Europe sprang into existence.

This mentality manifests itself today in guys like Barack Obama saying he'd engage in "dialog" with freaks like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and others of his ilk. Far from proving himself friendly, Ahmadinejad has demonstrated he's far more likely to take Obama's food.

Thus proving that leftists are freaks of nature, I conclude this pseudo-scientific post.