Loopholes

No, I haven't taken up an illegal alternative to cigarettes. Like many places these days, Canada has banned smoking. The trouble with that in a place like Montreal is that it's frackin' cold here. So, tired of frostbitten fingers every time I stepped out for a smoke, I found this place called Stogies, a cigar bar with a special permit to allow smoking.

When the waitress saw me smoking a cigarette, she said I had to wrap it. "Wrap it?", I asked. Usually when a woman tells you to wrap it...well, never mind. Apparently, I had to wrap my cigarette so it looked more cigar-like. She was happy to sell me a pack of "GoldenWrap" for $4.50 (the Canadian dollar is trading roughly 1:1 to the US dollar now).

Secure in the knowledge that my cigarette was now producing even more pollutants, I wrapped that rascal and lit up.