Friday, December 21, 2007

Top 10 good things about a Democrat winning in 2008

I resigned myself many months ago to the belief that a Democrat will win the presidential election next year. Yes, we can look forward to at least four years of Democrats controlling both the legislative and executive branches. That's one of the reasons I support Fred Thompson...besides his common sense position on the issues, I firmly believe he's the one guy who can beat a Democrat in the general election. But his hopes for winning the GOP nomination look dim.

So I think it's time to try and look on the bright side and see what good might come out of this. It wasn't easy, but here's what I came up with:
  1. Abrupt withdrawal from Iraq results in chaos in the Persian Gulf region, which leads to $300/barrel oil. Global warming grinds to a halt, and Al Gore finally shuts the hell up.
  2. Unemployment skyrockets to 15%, resulting in increased affordable entertainment by street corner musicians.
  3. With mortgage interest rates at 18%, home and commercial construction industry collapses, halting urban sprawl.
  4. Stock markets collapse, giving day traders more time to spend with their families.
  5. Universal health care turns medical doctors into every day, 9-5 blue-collar workers. Take that, you uppity thoracic surgeon bitch!
  6. Universal pre-K provides employment for tens of thousands of crack-dependent victims of society.
  7. Repeal of second amendment disarms the populace, ensuring only criminals serious about their craft are armed.
  8. Rise of nuclear-armed global Islamic caliphate allows us to stop worrying about Russia. And China.
  9. Illegal immigration problem is reversed by US citizens sneaking into Mexico for work.
  10. Righty bloggers finally get to be the ones "speaking truth to power".
There, now. Don't you feel better?

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