Red Sox watch

Magic Number: 0 (huh?)

I think foxsports.com has a problem with Boston and the Evil Empire being tied for first place, and can't figure out the magic number. They both have a magic number of 0, according to Fox. I suspect the actual number is something more like 3 for each team.

At any rate, it makes this upcoming home stand against the EE that much more crucial.

Hold The Pickles, Hold The Blasphemy

I guess it doesn't take much to offend Muslims these days. According to several items in the British press, one Rashad Akhtar of High Wycombe was offended when he noticed one day that the lid of an ice cream dessert from Burger King, when rotated ninety degrees, resembles the Arabic word for Allah. Apparently, it's a sacrilege when random swirls on a product's package design inadvertently spell "Allah".

So, Mr. Akhtar did what any sane, sensible person would have done and launched a "Jihad" against Burger King's blasphemy. Said Mr. Akhtar: "This is my jihad. How can you say it is a spinning swirl? If you spin it one way to the right you are offending Muslims." So, is he also offended by Burger King's Croissanwich's resemblance to an Islamic crescent? I guess he hasn't ordered one yet.

Burger King, of course, immediately and much to their discredit, pulled the tasty but blasphemous treats from its stores and issued an apology, and will have to spend thousands to redesign the packaging.

How about this, you twit: The very fact that you're offended offends ME!

Offensive or tasty? You be the judge:

Red Sox watch

Magic Number: 16

Well, the Evil Empire is only 1.5 games behind. This is getting way too close for comfort. Our bats need to wake up and start pounding out some hits!

More Mr. Nice Guy

A month or so ago, my wife and my daughter got me watching "Rock Star: INXS". The show, for those of you unfamiliar with it, is sort of a twist on "American Idol". Fifteen contestants compete to become the new lead singer for INXS, the Australian band whose lead singer, Michael Hutchence, committed suicide eight or nine years ago. Each week, the contestants perform and viewers vote on their favorites. And each week, the bottom three vote-getters are stood up in front of the band, who collectively decide which one of the three goes home.

I was skeptical at first, but since I was a bit of an INXS fan back in the '80s and early '90s, I decided to watch it. I was wondering who among the band members would take on the Simon Cowell persona and hurl put-downs at the poor performers in the bunch. Then I found out that along with the band, Dave Navarro would also be judging the contestants. Now, Dave Navarro is the outstanding guitarist of Jane's Addiction and Red Hot Chili Peppers fame. Navarro also looks like Satan having a really crappy day. I thought "Cool...not only will he mercilessly insult those contestants not performing up to par, but will drag the losing contestant each week, screaming in agony, into the depths of Hell!".

Man, was I EVER wrong.

It turns out that Dave Navarro is a REALLY nice guy. Judging performances each week isn't his only job. He also acts as mentor and cheerleader for the contestants, offering honest but polite critiques to each one, and loads of encouragement. And when a contestant puts on an exceptionally good performance (which is surprisingly frequent), he's nothing short of lavish with his praise.

I guess you just can't judge a book by its cover. Or a rocker with countless tattoos and a demonic countenance.

Red Sox watch

Magic Number: 22

So, we won last night and the Evil Empire lost. The EE is half a game up on Cleveland in the wild card race. While I think it'd be cool to see Boston play the Evil Empire again in the post season, I'm not sure my heart can take it.

Katrina And The Waves

Remember that band? They had a big, bouncy pop hit in the '80s, ironically (in the context of recent events) titled "Walkin' on Sunshine".

The events unfolding in New Orleans and elsewhere along the gulf coast are beyond heartbreaking in their enormity. Some cynics among us are saying they had their chance to evacuate and didn't do it, but that's callous in the extreme. The fact is that far too many couldn't evacuate, many for financial reasons, many more for medical reasons. They just couldn't afford to go anywhere, or were physically unable to.

Another group of people chooses to try and develop political capital out of this catastrophe by saying the government could do more, could have been better prepared, or should have seen this coming. And they're just as bad as those that say the people who stayed deserved what they got. Worse in many respects, because the latter speak out of ignorance, while the former speak purely for political gain.

If everyone would just shut the hell up for the time being and do whatever they can to help, maybe some suffering can be relieved.

Hey, RFK Jr...how about opening up the Kennedy compound to hurricane refugees?

Red Sox watch

Magic Number: 27

So we beat the Devil Rays, and Seattle disposed of the Evil Empire tonight. We're 3.5 games up, and we definitely needed this! Love 'em or hate 'em, the EE is too good a team to turn your back on.

Help victims of Hurricane Katrina!